Onion Reports: Nike Signs Big Brown to $90 Million contract

According to The Onion, the most reliable source of news on the internet, the Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner has signed a $90 million horseshoe contract with Nike.

This from The Onion:

PORTLAND, OR—In a move that added the world's pre-eminent equine athlete to its stable of endorsers Tuesday, Nike signed Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes winner Big Brown to a seven-year, $80 million endorsement contract that included a $10 million signing bonus as well as the creation of a signature horseshoe, the Air Brown.

"Nike is ecstatic to sign the top star in horseracing," CEO and Nike president Mike Parker said, unveiling the "jumphorse" logo as the Kentucky-bred colt trotted onstage. "From Michael Jordan to Tiger Woods, Nike has created formidable partnerships with the very best in sports. I can't say how proud we are to work with B.B., who is an extraordinary individual both on and off the track."

"Big B doesn't complain when he gets the far outside starting gate position," Parker added. "He just gallops. And he gives hope to everyone out there that if they train hard, push themselves, and keep their snout clean, they can accomplish anything."

Big Brown, whose Nike endorsement deal is the largest ever for a thoroughbred, was flown from New York to Portland in a private Nike jet stocked with the world's finest bourbon, caviar, sugar cubes, cigars, carrots, and hay. Upon arriving on the west coast, the equine superstar's handlers whisked him past a throng of cheering fans into a stretch limousine bound for Nike headquarters, where Brown, his 11-horse entourage, and his team of lawyers reviewed the contract one last time before signing.

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